The Ring

The Ring

Okay so……….here we go! I wanted to talk about my ring because girl, let me TELL YOU… I lost so much sleep over this ring! I made SO many changes over and over again when designing this ring!! I’m sure not everyone is as particular as I am but this is a HUGE investment so I wanted to make sure it was classic, timeless, and most importantly, a ring that I will LOVE and drool over time and time again! If you’re curious about the entire ring picking/designing process, then keep on reading!

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted a round brilliant stone with a cushion halo. I love the look of the round stone with a cushion halo because the edges of the cushion halo are rounded, i.e. no sharp corners! See photo below. And when I started to ring shop, I thought to myself, okay, this is what I would go with. However, in the back of my mind, I have always loved the classic round brilliant stone without a halo… IF the stone was at least 2 carats. [I know it might sound superficial and I know this is not for everyone…but its just my personal preference!]

So as I started ring shopping, I focused on trying on both of these styles and honestly they are beautiful in their own ways. The round with a cushion halo is definitely more trendy, but because I wanted the halo to be quite thin (i.e. small pave diamonds), it just added a nice feminine touch to the round brilliant stone. It didn’t feel gaudy or too bulky, which was very important to me. I loved the look of it on my finger and I was pretty sure I’d go with this design. If you’re not sure about the stone shape or design, I recommend browsing through Pinterest first and see what speaks to you. And definitely try on as many rings/designs as you need!!!

But when I put on a round brilliant stone without the halo, it had this timeless, classic look which I also fell in love with! Something about the simplicity of letting the stone shine on its own really drew me in. And I do have to add, my fiance definitely loved the classic look (I think most men do!). I went back and forth between the two designs for at least a couple of weeks….haha I went back to the jewelers at least 2 or 3 times before I decided on the classic one.

So why did I end up choosing the classic one?

  1. I knew it would be timeless. Time and time again, a round brilliant cut will always remain the most classic. And after talking to my jeweler, I realized that I can buy other rings in the future with the halo design. The jeweler also shared the idea that changing the setting on a ring isn’t difficult at all. So, if I got bored of this classic look in a few years (which was my fear that I’d be bored with a classic look), then they can switch it out easily.
  2. The second reason is more personal- my fiance and I had set a budget for the ring where we were both comfortable with and with that budget, he was able to purchase this diamond!!! (I’m so so grateful!!) This did play a factor into picking the classic design because I knew I wanted a diamond to be at least 2 carats.
  3. My style and age- I’ve come to realize that as I age (sad haha), I find myself drawn to more and more of what is classic and elegant. And I’m referring to all aspects of my style – from clothes, to shoes, to make up. I think if I had gotten engaged at 25, I probably would have picked the ring with a halo. I really had to think about who I am today, what am I drawn to, and does the ring speak to me…!

So now that we have the shape/overall design set….(which is JUST THE BEGINNING, trust me), I can finally proceed to the next step. The actual design of MY ring. Oh boy, did I have SOOO much to learn! In photos, we typically only see the ring from one perspective, top down view. But there is SO MUCH that goes into a ring! I rarely looked at the side view so I was clueless about what kind of prongs I wanted. Only thing I did know was, I did NOT want 6 prongs. I have and always will be a 4 prongs kinda gal. (just a personal preference because 6 prongs look distracting to me, with 4 prongs I think you see more of the diamond and its roundness).

What goes into such a classic, ‘simple’ ring?

The Stone. This is where the 4 C’s- color, cut, clarity, and carat really need to be contemplated and considered!

  1. Let’s start off with the easiest one, which is carat. Personally, the carat size was pretty important to me, especially for a round solitaire. It’s important of course, to be realistic with your budget and know that if size is important, you may have to go lower on the scale on the other C’s! (but if you can have it all, you go girl!!!) When I worked with my jeweler, he knew that the size was important to me so he showed me stones ranging from 2-2.5 carats (within our budget of course).
  2. The cut – okay so I did quite a bit of research and from what I have gathered, the cut of the ring is very, very important. It’s interesting because not too many people talk about the cut of the stone beyond just the ‘shape’. But cut is also graded ladies!! The cut of a stone is what will make your ring SHINE! A well cut stone will pick up the light and make it sparkle! Depending on the shape of the stone, the cut quality may be more important in some diamonds than others. For a round solitaire, I think getting a ‘very good’ cut to ‘ideal cut’ would truly make your ring sparkle like no other!! I would make sure you ask the jeweler about the cut of the ring and have them show you different graded cuts – to see if YOU can see the difference! When it comes down to it…you’re the one that will be looking at your ring the most. So you might be more sensitive to certain Cs than others. Put your money towards what YOU value.
  3. The color- I think the color may be the most biased and personal characteristic to consider when you’re ring shopping. Why? Because some people are extremely sensitive to color and others aren’t! My jeweler brought in a range of colors for us – from D (the best and colorless) up through to J. D-E-F are considered colorless and G-H-I-J are near colorless. Its definitely recommended to stay within at least the near colorless range. And ONE OTHER VERY IMPORTANT TAKE AWAY….when looking at the stone from a top down view, it is VERY HARD TO SEE THE DIFFERENCE IN THE COLOR of a stone. The color SHOWS more from the bottom (i.e. if you turned the diamond upside down, you will see the yellow tones more from that angle). But how often are you looking at a diamond from that angle?!?! So if you take away anything from this blog, I would say, really consider the color. If you want to get value for your buck, know that being in the near colorless range is your best bet!!! When I looked at a G color next to an I color, they looked ALMOST IDENTICAL!!! Also- even if you are sensitive to color, the jeweler also reminded me of this….the only time you’re seeing a colorless ring next to a slightly colored ring is in the store. You have this comparison to try and distinguish which one is ‘whiter’ but the moment to step out of that store, and you’re wearing your ring….you don’t really have another colorless stone to benchmark against. SO…even if you are sensitive to color, just keep this in mind!!! Just think about what you can and cannot see with the naked eye!
  4. Clarity- this grades any scratches on the stone. The best way you describe it is, when you look at a diamond, some look super clean while others look like they have marks or little spots in them. Most of the time, if the grade of the clarity is VS and above, you won’t be able to see any inclusions with the naked eye. Meaning, the jeweler would have to show you under a microscope in order for you to see the scratches on the stone! I would recommend staying in VS1 and above if you are sensitive to scratches (which I was!). The scale is I-S-V-VVS-IF-F. S means slightly included and there are two levels: SI and SII, V means very slightly included, and there are two levels: VSI and VSII. VVS means very very slightly included, etc. For myself, diamonds in the slightly included range- I was able to see the inclusions with my naked eye so I stayed in the VS range. There is no point in paying $$$ for VVS and above unless you are VERY VERY VERY sensitive to scratches. HOWEVER, keep in mind, this also depends on where the scratches are. This is when your jeweler is important. When jewelers are picking out diamonds to sell, a stone can be a VS1 but depend on where the inclusion is… they can cover it with your setting or prongs!! A VS1 with an inclusion in the dead center of the stone versus an inclusion on the very edge makes a total difference!!!

So… where did I land with all my Cs?

Carat: 2.56, Cut: ideal, Color: I, Clarity: VSI, my ring size is 4.75

Other tips to consider:

  • Make sure you do your research!!! Look online, watch Youtube videos and work closely with your jeweler
  • Make sure you see the ring in natural light- my jeweler insisted that I always look at the stone in natural light!!
  • Make sure you communicate the budget up front so the jeweler can pull the best stone to your specifications within the budget
  • Take your time… this is a huge investment! Don’t feel rushed into making a decision (trust me girl, I took 2 months of going back and forth!)
  • Visit a few jewelers to get price estimates so you can get a sense of the market price for the stone you’re looking for!
  • Remember that this is your stone, and what you can see with YOUR naked eye!

This blog is getting extremely long so there will be a part 2 where I go into the setting. The setting is VERY important and this is where you’ll have to determine the width of the band, the height of the prongs, etc. ALL OF THIS MATTERS!!!!

Hope you enjoyed this read and found it to be informative!!!

Love, Kat xoxo

How He popped the big Q – Part II

How He popped the big Q – Part II

May 23, 2019

We woke up, ate breakfast, packed the car and left for the road trip to Monterey around 10 am that day. Not sure if you guys know this, but my fiancé surfs…and when I say he surfs, I mean he SURFS. He loves its, breathes it, and lives it!!! Every time we travel, we MUST hit up at least one surf spot! Don’t worry, there’s a reason for why I’m sharing this! So the plan was to drive up the coast and stop along the way for quick little surf sessions.

We ended up stopping in Rincon (near Santa Barbara) around 1pm but for some reason, he was being really indecisive about whether he should surf or not. It seemed like he was in a rush to get to Avila Beach (Central California where we were staying the night). At that point, please keep in mind, I was once again not suspecting anything. I thought he was rushing because he wanted to have enough time to check out Central California since we were only there for 1 evening and had to drive up to Monterey the very next day. So while he questioned if he should surf, I encouraged him to do so! I mean, we were already there, parked the car…might as well just GET OUT THERE!! haha

So he agreed and went out for a fairly quick surf session. I think we were only there for about an hour. After he got out of the water, he was not TOO happy because he didn’t catch any good waves and thought he had ‘wasted his time’. Overall, he was just being extremely time sensitive on our drive up that day. But I was just going with the flow! I didn’t really care when we got there or what we were going to do…since he planned the trip and he’s usually the one that looks up places for us to visit! lol Anyway, so after the fact of course, I understood why he was in a rush.

He was in a rush because he told the photographer to meet us at the proposal location at 4:30pm and we were definitely running late. He knew we had to go to the hotel and check in first, change/get ready and then head out. I was pretty clueless to be honest…haha and even when he was driving, he told me to grab something from the glove compartment and apparently, the glove compartment has a ‘secret’ section that is normally closed, but when I opened the glove compartment, the secret section was open and he leaned over to slam it shut!! He later told me that the RING BOX was in that secret section of the glove compartment! I guess that could have ruined the surprise!!! But I didn’t even see anything…….!!!

Anyway….we got to the hotel around 4pm?, and I got ready, mainly thinking we’re going to shoot some content and head out to dinner because we didn’t even have time to eat lunch! (he’s lucky I don’t get hangry hahah) He took a shower and wore a white button up and jeans, which he told me after the fact that he was afraid I’d ask why he’s dressed up (normally a t-shirt and shorts kinda guy). I just thought he was dressed to go to dinner after shooting!!

So…my outfit choice—I was debating between the Revolve blue floral dress and the white VICI dress. Because I thought we were headed to the beach, I knew both dresses would look amazing but definitely thought the white one would flow more with the wind. I asked him for his opinion, and he said the white one. Specifically, he also said ‘so you can match me!‘ How gross, I’m not a fan of matching haha To be honest, at that point, I KINDA suspected something…like okay why do you want me to wear the white one and made a comment about how we should match!? But being the logical person that I am and the two glaring facts of the ring not being ready and he not having asked my dad for permission, my suspicion quickly vanished.

By the way, he was also doing stretches in his jeans when I was getting ready…apparently to loosen the jeans up so he can get down on his knees!!! haha About 20 minutes after checking in and getting ready, we headed out. And after driving for about 15-20 minutes, all of a sudden he goes oh let’s check this place out on the left. So he turned into this small parking area outside of a hiking trail. THIS IS SO TYPICAL OF HIM. haha Meaning… it is very normal for us to pull over somewhere randomly because he wants to check a place out!! So we stopped….and I thought okay, sure let’s see this hiking trail. Apparently after I got out of the car, he was waiting for me to start walking towards the entrance of the trail so he can go to the glove compartment to get the ring! I think I was just on my phone but he also went to the trunk and took a shot of vodka!!! HAHAH (apparently our photographer gave him that advice..lol)

SO WHILE I WAS COMPLETELY CLUELESS…HE TOOK A SHOT OF VODKA AND GOT THE RING! Once he locked the car, we walked together, hand in hand and he lead the way. He’s about 6 inches taller than me so he pretty much blocked my view. Of course, he SAW the engagement set up first!!! hahah I didn’t know what was happening UNTIL I SAW THE RED BALLOONS POPPING over his head in the distance.

THEN…..I WAS LIKE OMG….and we walked further into the trail and I SAW THE ENTIRE SET UP!!!!! Of course, I also saw the photographer…so I KNEW!!! IN MY HEAD I WAS THINKING OMG….IS THIS HAPPENINGTHIS IS HAPPENING!!!

One thing that was REALLY important to me was that I wanted to remember his words….I didn’t want to black out!! And so although the adrenaline was flowing, I somehow calmed myself down enough…to TRULY BE IN THE MOMENT. I soaked up every single word that came out of this mouth. I SAVORED EVERY SECOND OF IT! And I remember it fairly clearly!!! We decided to keep his speech private between the two of us…but he ended it with…. Will you marry me?

And he got down on his knee, opened the ring box and I DIED haha IT WAS PERFECT, THAT MOMENT, THE LOCATION (SUPER ETHEREAL AND MAGICAL), HIS SPEECH (SHORT AND SWEET), THE FREAKING RING…..!!! I said…yes, YES, YESS!!!

We are hugging and kissing and just SO, SO HAPPY!!! Popped open the champagne bottle, ate the chocolate covered strawberries, and to top if all off, headed to the beach for an engagement shoot!!! Honestly, I really, really recommend having a shoot immediately after the proposal. I think the photos really capture that happy moment…that glow!!!

And a million paragraphs later, here we are, officially an ENGAGED COUPLE!!! I will forever remember that day, the series of events that led up to the proposal, and just that surreal feeling of knowing that we will be spending the rest of our lives together!!! I knew he was the one when I realized that I just could not imagine my life without him. He truly is ONE in a million. I am so lucky that I’ll get to call him my hubby.

Hope you enjoyed this long, long read!!! Thank you for all your warm wishes!!!

Love you babes!! xoxo Kat

How He Popped the Big Q – Part I

How He Popped the Big Q – Part I

Hello Dolls!

I can’t believe I’m actually sitting here writing this blog post today!!! To say that I’ve been wedding obsessed since I was a teenager is an understatement. My closest friends know just HOW obsessed I am with the entire ordeal- fairy tale weddings, engagement rings, Pnina Tornai, Berta, florals…I LOVE it all!!! I feel like I’ve had my ring and dress picked out since I was 18 haha (the funny thing is when we were designing the ring I was SUPER indecisive? next blog post will be all about the ring!) Anyway…back to the point and why you’re all here. I will TRY my very best to describe the events leading up to the big day and details about the proposal in the most concise, summarized fashion I can notate. So please, bear with me!

Weeks leading up to the proposal

So, I think it was around April of this year when Bae came to me and suggested that we go ring shopping together. Mind you, we’ve gone ring shopping before and have definitely talked about getting married but there were many factors that made the timing not quite right. We’ve been together for 8 years, so it sure feels like a marriage! haha (in a good way, of course). And to be honest, both of us were not in a rush to get hitched. As much as I love weddings and live for all of this, I trusted in the timing of the universe. I wanted both of us to be at a good place in our lives–stable, comfortable and happy. I wasn’t quite sure just HOW serious he was about going ring shopping this time around until he gave me an official deadline to pick out my ring.

I believe that deadline was 6 weeks from when he suggested we go ring shopping. Being the somewhat financially savvy person that I am, I DEFINITELY needed that amount of time to perform my due diligence. This is an investment, am I right ladies? We must always perform our due diligence before a business acquisition! [any finance accounting ladies out there? ;)] I told Bae that we have to do this right. Let’s visit a few jewelers, get a couple of quotes and then go from there. And of course, we shopped around but luckily decided to go with the first jeweler we went to and they did an AMAZING job! Okay, getting back on track. So in my mind, I thought hmm 6 weeks…that takes us into May and we had a road trip planned to Monterey, California for the CaliRoots festival Memorial Day weekend. Of course, I thought, okay so maybe he wants to propose then??!?!

And let me TELL YOU….you CANNOT surprise me haha I don’t know what it is but I’m just super sensitive and pay close attention to detail so I’d know if he was up to something! Also, just to be brutally honest (sorry babe), he always gives away too many hints when he plans a ‘surprise’ and I usually figure it out!! haha So of course, being the wonderful, giving man that he is, Bae definitely dropped a few hints. Let’s use a scale now. With the deadline, I thought the possibility of the proposal happening during Memorial Day weekend was a 5 out of 10…BUT with these hints, the scale definitely tipped to 7 or 8.

Hint 1: One day, he came home from work and told me that he booked the hotels for our trip up north but he didn’t want to TELL me where we are staying?! uh that’s strange. And then he further goes on to say, I don’t want you to research the place or area we’re staying at with a physical “wink” haha (OKAY BABE, way to almost give it away haha)

Hint 2: It was either on the same day or a couple days later, Bae goes…”we can check out wedding venues while we’re there, Central California is beautiful you know?” I said…sure haha but COME ON…is that a big hint or what?! I guess I also thought, since we were engagement ring shopping, the natural thing to do is to think about where we wanted to get married. So maybe it was just a great suggestion. Either way, I was thinking alright, so potentially it will happen Memorial Day weekend.

Hint 3: A week or two before the trip, he pulls up the map and shows me a photo of this beach in Central California and asked me, oh isn’t this beautiful? You can shoot Instagram photos here. But the way he said it was a little strange…haha I feel like he was suggesting something MORE (probably from his mannerism). At this point, in my mind, I was thinking okay, it’s probably going to happen on our trip to NorCal and it’ll probably be at the beach!

BUT the WEEK before we left….a few things happened where I was almost 100% certain that he would NOT be proposing. #1 – I KNEW he didn’t talk to my dad yet because we eat dinner with my parents about once a week and I knew the two of them never had alone time together! I was always with Bae or my dad and I thought to myself, there is NO WAY he would propose without asking for my dad’s permission (more details about that later and what actually happened). #2 – One of my best friends just turned 30 so she actually went to our jeweler to get a necklace made. I went with her the weekend before our trip to pick up the necklace and the jeweler acted strange…! THEY were the ones that brought up my ring and joked about whether its ready or not…and then further talked about how making a ring takes a long time, etc. I DIDN’T ASK ABOUT IT! It was so strange that they brought up my ring!! haha (probably also to just start a convo). However, before we left, the jeweler said in all seriousness, the ring isn’t ready but if he gives us permission, we can let you know when it is. And I said, NO I don’t need to know when the ring is ready but thank you! So….I left, and was a bit confused but really believed that the ring was not ready (AND LADIES, IT ACTUALLY WASN’T!!! KEEP ON READING).

So let’s revisit that scale haha with these 2 events happening the week before our trip, I was so sure it wasn’t going to happen!! I thought to myself, maybe he initially wanted to do it on this trip, but perhaps he had to push it back because the ring wasn’t ready and that’s why he had not yet asked my dad for his blessing/approval. That scale shifted from 7 or 8 out of 10 to 1 or 2 haha…or maybe zero.

So here we are, a few days before our trip, almost certain the proposal wasn’t going to happen as I had originally suspected…I was slightly disappointed but then became extremely curious….I wondered WHEN he would do it?! We have a trip planned to Cabo in August, so I thought oh ya, maybe he will do it then. Or he might do it locally because SoCal is beautiful! Honestly, it didn’t really matter where or when…but it was more so the anxiety of NOT KNOWING!!! (Can you tell, I don’t do well with unknowns?!)

Being the fashionista that I am, I packed a few outfits I wanted to shoot on our trip and packed two dresses (one white from VICI- for the festival, which ended up being the dress that I wore on the day we got engaged! and one royal blue floral dress from Revolve- for a nice dinner). I love both of the dresses equally [important fact for later] haha and didn’t think anything more. I guess in my mind, since I thought he would propose at the beach, IF THERE WAS ANY CHANCE this is happening, the blue dress would look great for the beach!

Many lengthy paragraphs later….now this takes us to Thursday, May 23, 2019, THE DAY MY FUTURE HUBBY PROPOSED TO ME!!! [CLIFF HANGER AHEAD] haha

To find out more, come back for Part II! Didn’t want to make this blog post 100 miles long! Hope you enjoyed reading so far! I also wanted to document this so we will always remember this very special time in our lives.

Love you babes! xoxo Kat

Keeping up!

Keeping up!

Hello my loves! Once again, its been a minute since my last post…but I’m finally freeing up a bit at work so I wanted to talk about something that’s been on my mind lately.

For most of us, we are working 9-5 jobs… if not 9-9 or whatever it may be and finding the TIME to also manage a blog or Instagram is extremely difficult!! Being on this platform has many pros and cons and at the end of the day, I find that some days are tougher than others. I think we’ve all been there and share the same struggles…whether its caring too much about the stats, or feeling uninspired…I think it’s completely NORMAL to go through peaks and valleys.

The important part is…to not force yourself to create if the flow just isn’t there. Some weeks, I have a million ideas of what I want to feature on my feed- outfits, locations, camera angles, etc. Other weeks, like this past one, I just felt nothing…it wasn’t a lack of motivation, but it was just a lack of creative juices? In those moments, I found that I could either try harder and keep trying… or just take a break and listen to my body! (or maybe mind).

I just wanted to bring this reminder with you all, especially if you are struggling with the ups an downs, to keep going. Allow yourself the breaks that you need and organically, you’ll feel refreshed, revived, and the content will follow. Another little tip I have is, in addition to a break, it’s important to remind yourself and ask yourself the right questions. Why am I doing this? Do I love what I’m doing? How is this making me feel? Are the cons outweighing the pros? It’s important to ask these questions because we can easily get sucked into this routine of engaging, posting, sharing, and just spending countless hours on Instagram. But at the end of the day, always keep your ‘purpose’ in mind.

Lastly, sometimes, instead of doing all the ‘work’ to continue growing, don’t forget that this is also suppose to be FUN! I love scrolling through Discover and finding inspiration. Don’t forget to allow yourself to have FUN…have fun exploring the platform and connecting with people that bring you joy 🙂

I hope you were able to take something away from this, even if its just knowing that you are not alone girl!!

Age is just a number

Age is just a number

Some of you might know that I recently turned the BIG 3-0. Just to keep it real, I DEFINITELY had major moments of melt down in 2018. There’s something about that number which struck a cord with me. I honestly didn’t even realized how much the anticipated 30 had affected me until I’m looking back on it now. The strange thing is that I was and still am actually at a good place in my life. I have a stable career which supports my lifestyle, I live in beautiful sunny California (a place where people dream about vacationing to), my family is close and the best, and I have an amazing partner in crime. And to think I have all that…and I STILL FREAKED OUT….? My melt downs were so focused on where I wasn’t… and where I should be at 30….I questioned myself, my relationships, everything!! I literally questioned it all!!

Anyway, I guess the point I’m trying to make here is that….no matter how amazing your life may be, there are societal pressures which are EXTREMELY difficult to ignore. There are expectations that have been set and drilled/brained washed into our minds that by 30, we should be A, B, C, D, ETC (you know what I mean?!) For example, when I was younger, I set a timeline for myself… I wanted to achieve X by age 20, 25, 30…and by 30, I always thought I would be married with kids. That is crazy right? At 18…we are setting these goals for ourselves not even KNOWING if that’s ACTUALLY WHAT WE WANT! Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying we’re all like this because I know there are people that know exactly what they want and they stick by it. There is nothing wrong with a timeline (have always been and will always be a planner at heart). But I think as I was approaching 30, I somehow, just focused on all the negatives? Or more so my missed projections from a timeline that was created a long, long time ago.

I got confused… 100 percent confused. In a way, I lost myself and what I really want. I was getting mixed up between what I WANT versus what I’m expected to want and what society wants me to want…(does that make any sense?…I hope so!). It really took a lot… and part of it was getting sick in the last couple months of 2018, to really forget about this idea of turning 30. Because honestly, at the end of the day, life is simple. I had to break it down to the fundamentals, to its core. And at its core, is health because without health, you’ve got NOTHING and then there love. Love for yourself, the people around you, love for what you do on a daily basis and love that you share/put out into the universe.

And so…I redirected my energy, my anxious anticipation of turning 30 to these fundamentals. I looked myself in the mirror, splashed some cold water on my face (figuratively haha) and told myself that I am exactly where I need to be. Yes, I’m not married, no I don’t have kids but I’m still figuring out if that’s what I want. I think I’ve always been good at doing what I’m told. Growing up, I never fought back, I listened to my parents, my teachers, and even now, my boss. I never questioned authority (I guess that’s a good way to put it). And so I also never questioned these societal pressures…UNTIL NOW. But in this day and age and the world we live in, I’m thinking Kat its about time you questioned it!

Life is just too short (that’s another thing I’ve experienced this past year.. is that time is just flying by faster and faster). I could see my life play out in so many different scenarios: continue to climb the corporate ladder, have a comfortable life, etc or I can see myself quitting, travel the world and see where life takes me. And as SCARY as it sounds to me, the fact that I can even SEE option 2 as an OPTION is beautiful thing. It proves to myself that I’m seeing beyond and wanting beyond what society wants me to want. It shows me that I’m opening my eyes and heart to living a life that I TRULY WANT TO LIVE. NOW…what kind of life that is… I’m also still figuring that out haha BUT the point is…I’ve learned that I don’t want to be a robot… or a minion, and if ultimately my choice is to stick with my career and live a comfortable life, then so be it. But at least I’ll know its what I WANT and what MAKES ME HAPPY and not a product of what society has brainwashed me to desire.